I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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