nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Randomize
