We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
