Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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