I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Randomize
