So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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