I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Randomize
