He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Do you remember whose house we're in?
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize