I think i peed on brittanys purse
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
