And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
