He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
