ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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