I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
did i walk over a car last night?
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
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