sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
