This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
