bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
