like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
