my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
