You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
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