It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
