We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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