They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
