I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
