According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
