Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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