I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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