mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize