Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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