I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
