One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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