Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
did you just send me my own nude
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
