Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
