Jerry, you need to find god
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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