He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
