garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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