so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
