New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
