New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
