yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
