Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
They took my balls.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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