I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
