If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
