I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
