You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
