Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
