it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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