omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
