I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
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