Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
