Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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