If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
