Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
