Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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