i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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