he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
