That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
