is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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