so explain again why im purple
no
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
